procrastination running circles in my head.

had enough fun, it's time to stop but i don't know how...

sick of entertaining, sick of procrastinating. nothing's worth my time now, except studies! so i should stop procrastinating and study! damn!

Lakz :)

decided to be really random and post lakz' pictures up. :) he's my naughty son.

i dont know why he loves sitting this way, he probably thought that he's a gigolo or something. owell. :)

notice his ears are gone? lol. we folded his ears back and snapped a picture of him. random. yes.

Are you looking at his pictures? if you are, well, he's doing great. much much better. still as naughty and mischievious. nobody's bullying him definitely, everybody dotes him like a precious. :)

and yea, these 2 pictures were taken just now when we were playing pool at mambo. lol. de-stress. ha.

*




ok. i know this picture is damn late, but seriously, no time la. i still remember it's the 3rd day of cny and i rushed down to town, taking a cab, just to meet andrew for 1 hr. cos i overslept and i was super late alr. lol. andrew went to australia, and yes, he's there now, right andrew? i miss you anyway. :)

ali, andrew, darren, hong gay.

walked home from jurong point today. can u believe that i got lost in my housing estate? yes, im that dumb. and i've walked once from jurong point to home before. my goodness, i have to admit that im really dumb. supposedly to take half an hour to reach home, in the end i took 45mins. lol. owell. i felt much better after walking tho. yea, i always believe that when something bad happens, something good will follow suit. it's how u perceived things i guess. :)

my knees are giving me trouble. :(
cannot run, cannot walk up stairs, cannot walk down stairs. it hurts.
:(
and i dunno why. yea, i know i have to see the physio, but it's not cheap u know. owell, maybe soon, i cannot do salsa anymore. lol. body really full of problems. sigh.

everybody's feeling so stressed up, to the point that we dont feel like doing anything. dont feel like going out, dont feel like studying, dont feel like entertaining anybody. ahhh, fuck. exams are seriously a torture to me. :(

o, one good thing, i might be teaching an adult conversational english in some condo, which means GOOD MONEY!! yeah! see, good things come after a bad thing. not bad huh. :)

I fucking fucking hate exams!! it's fucking irritating, making me feel all stressed up, and yet, not doing anything. damn me.

just kill me please. :(

A powerful statement, 'don't blame the player, blame the game.'

very very true indeed, u stepped into the game willingly, ok, probably a little bit of tactics here and there, and the game continues from there. u can't stop right away until you have ENOUGH fun. so, it's definitely not the player's fault, but the game. owell. it wasnt from me definitely.

got this statement from bro sam and thought really carefully through it and yea, i totally agree with it. :)

im bored. :(

al.

al may look strong at times, but she's one with emotions and feelings too. she knows what is anger, sadness, happiness, loneliness, fear whatever. she's not one to be treated lightly, not even the slightest bit. but apparently, everyone's treating her lightly, even her own dad. 'im not your boyfriend, i dont have to TRUST you.' so what's that for? is she a puppet?

a puppet for everybody to play with and throw away? people come and go as they like, random, i should say. but cant they just spare a thought for al? how would al feel or how would she think? even friends she trust can never be trusted. what the hell has this world come into? or is she still too naive to step into the reality world? so, even if she becomes a player, a 3rd party, who can she blame? but al never wants to be a player nor a 3rd party, cos it's really tiring to do so.

so al chooses not to fall in love, i shouldn say never cos emotions cannot be controlled. she rather pulls back than falling into it. going thru all the steps over and over again is darn tiring. she never know the person she has fallen in love with is a great man, or just another ordinary guy whom she has met, cheater. she becomes so picky that every now and then, she will tell herself, know what, there's definitely someone much much better. but seriously, who's much much better? nobody she guess.

nevertheless, love is a wonderful thing. but at least not for al. :) she used to think friendship's a much worthy thing for, but apparently, she doesnt think so alr.

have you ever experienced having this feeling of emptiness and loneliness in any one of the days? god damnit. it's my day today. i fucking hate this feeling. waking up first thing in the damn morning feeling so restless, not wanting to do anything. then as time passes, the damn feeling worsen, developing into loneliness. all the where's my boyfriend, where are my friends shit coming back to me. then tada, emptiness!! fuck the damn feeling! nvm, i dont know what the heck is wrong with me. owell. one of the days. yea. :)

when he said yes, u may yesterday. i felt a tiny tinge of sadness, but owell. who cares. i dont need a player. or should i say i dont need anybody who just wants to have fun. :)

it's kind of weird that im feeling shitty when im pushing you away. it shouldn be that way. i should be happy. yea. i should, but god damnit, i cant control my emotions.

ahhh, fuck. stop all the nonsense and start studying! dumbass! argh!!

caged. :(

boo! lol, was supposed to help samuel with his project, by helping him to be his 'model', took some shots in the studio and ended up cam-whoring in his school. lol. cam-whoring's just super fun that i cant resist not doing. :) owell.

i finally started studying!! my god. and can you believe it? prelims is starting this saturday! omg. im so gonna fail alr. owell. it doesnt really matter because it's just prelims. im studying for may. :)

and yea, im feeling kind of guilty blogging away now and not studying. no mood leh. :(

have to catch my beauty sleep alr! nights! :)

i am quite irritated by the fact that i am becoming someone whom i wouldn want to be.

i am quite irritated by the fact that i am beginning to feel something.

i am quite irritated by the fact that my shoulders are getting heavier and heavier.

i am quite irritated by the fact that i am not doing anything...

yea. after returning the car, as usual, we went shopping. duh. had fun cam-whoring. haha. :)

Car day

yea, frm the look of these pictures, i rented a car like way before cny. lol. can only post the pictures up now. owell. was fun driving. altho the car goes really slow. im definitely a safe driver. :)

haha. i was supposed to return the car on monday which is a school day for us. so i took the chance and drove may anne and gela around. hehe. :)