i should have persevered and not let it all go.

i shouldn even believe so

and now i'm all over it again.

go away, feelings and emotions.

my own birthday

long overdue pictures on 28 August 2009.

celebrated my birthday with my lovely friends even tho I wasnt really happy at the point of them. nonetheless, sorry for the late thank yous!

cheers.:)

i watched a vid on facebook and can't help crying. can't post the vid here but it's about poverty in Africa, kids mal-nutritioned and couldn't even sit up properly, just lying on the ground filled with dirt. they are only 7yr olds and yet they cant be like other kids playing happily, studying happily in classrooms or even eating happily. in the vid, the sister of the 2 mal-nutritioned kids walked miles just to get a SMALL pail of water to bathe her siblings. she's just an 8 yr old and she knows she her responsibility of taking care of their siblings.

the on-lookers then gave them some peanut crackers. A spoilt, selfish and self-centred Singaporean child will open the pack of crackers and start eating themself without sharing. BUT the 8 yr old child opened the pack of crackers and gave the crackers to her little sister and brother, then finally take one for herself.

seriously, looking at the vid makes me feel damn sad. here I am, being so fortunate and still thinking that my life sucks. looking at the people around me, people who are just so selfish and self-centered, putting themselves first to anyone else, people who are vying for power, people who are super lazy, honestly, i feel goddamn sad for them and for myself cos these kids know nothing but yet they know how to share, know how to take care of the younger ones, know their responsiblilities so well.

if anyone of u is reading this, think, compared to them, who are we to say that our life suck?

something nice to take note of. :)

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the The Mayonnaise Jar and 2 Cups of Coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.

When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full.

They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar.

He shook the jar lightly.

The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full.

They agreed that it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.

Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

He asked once more if the jar was full.

The students responded with a unanimous “yes.”

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.

The students laughed.

“Now,” said the professor as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.

The golf balls are the important things - God, your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions

- and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.

The sand is everything else - the small stuff.”

“If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued, “there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.

The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

“Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first - the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. ”I’m glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.”

sigh.

same thing, same shit everyday.

isn't it sick?

is it that hard to love someone genuinely?

something to laugh about

it is saddening to know that you aren't important at all, let alone being sacrificed.

when can I ever get this shit out from my damn heart?

cos it hurts, damn badly.

i feel sad when my friends feel sad recently, i put myself in their shoes and this is bad. cos I shouldn, it will hurt me instead. but i can't help feeling upset. i want all my friends to be happy, i really do. i just read a blog of my friend's and yeah, she sounds down, not the cheerful friend that i've always known. :(

i miss all my old friends so much, i really do, even though they are only a handful but at least there aren't any false pretenses around them. they really do feel happy for me when i do well or when i'm happy and really do feel the same when i feel sad or unhappy.

why is this world full of pretentious people with pretentious acts that i'm really sick of. i just want to mix around with people who are real, people who will just tell me my faults right straight into my face rather than saying it behind my back. I don't mind having face to face criticisms or confrontation seriously. that's more true. i hate it when people start telling you that this person isn't nice and still treat that person as a gem. seriously, just kiss my ass. i can't stand those shit and that's prolly why people can't stand me. haha.

ohwell, enough ranting. few more hours to go to clear all our damn doubts. SIGH.

why do I still feel something after so long.

ain't someone supposed to be happy during their birthday? I'm not happy at all because of how dumb SIM can be and how screwed up they are. Why did they even bother testing the damn academic profile and show all of our results, then telling us that it's a testing, the results aren't confirmed nor accurate. I mean how screwed up can a school get, seriously. just one day before my birthday, just one day. Am I unlucky or what.

I'm not happy with my results at all even tho I passed everything but different people have different expectations. Some aim for a pass, some aim for a 1st class, some aim for a 2nd upper. I'm only aiming for 2nd upper for my macro cos I studied so damn hard for it. but all I got is a damn grade similar to corporate finance which I thought I will fail. Seriously, how am I gonna get into the management trainee programme in the banks that I'm aiming for. So stressed about it. SIGH.

Then again, it's not really confirmed tho I seriously doubt so. I don't know, it's just kind of sucky to have to know this during your birthday. :(

Happy birthday Mum-25 Aug 09

cute little lakz. :)

PERCEBE

cool stuff, so wanna try it. looks like a penis tho. haha.

PERCEBE, a spanish word pronounced as per-THAY-bay. this is a delicious, edible gooseneck barnacle which thrives at the ocean’s foamy edge.

SO how do you eat it?

You obtain the freshest percebes possible, then you boil them, strip off the outer skin of the stalk and bite off the interior meat which has a delicate, seafoody flavour recalling lobster.

In Spain, the culinary belief is: the shorter the stalk, the tastier the meat.

Interesting huh? for more info, check out http://www.billcasselman.com/words_of_the_world/percebe.htm

for those who aren't sure what a barnacle is, click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barnacle

Cheers. :)

i miss myself, the old happy, sometimes grumpy me.

i am not happy anymore and i know i can't live with this forever.

SIGH.

Why am I always so free everyday.

good night.

untouched unsatisfactory shots

taken in sentosa