out with 7th aunt and jes.

Clarke Quay

do i look really tired? everybody's asking me the same thing when they see me. why are you so shagged? even my tuition kid's mum's asking me the same thing. i must look really tired then. :(

damn. im so bored now. :(

zi char with cher and kc tmr! yea! :)

SALSA

I dunno why the hell did ivan take this pic. i was just lying on the wall with my eyes closed. haha.

ricky

dovan

ivan! :)

salsa audition today was damn fun. definitely an unforgettable moment for all of us! haha. we are made to dance solo in the small studio room. 3 parts. salsa solo, salsa with partner, and some club dancing. i totally screwed up my club dancing and my body wave. shit! never been so so embarrassed. haha. even thinking of it makes me so embarrassed. ono. haha.

i really should be appreciative, so ivan, thank you for accompanying me down to audition and we succeeded in making ourselves clowns! yea! haha. i hope u had fun and i definitely had fun too k. a really good experience. :) im looking forward to next week's salsa class alr! spins and spins! haha.

im finally meeting cher and kc tomorrow, and provided that they dont ps. haha. :)

I'm afraid that if I want anything too much, it means I'll never have it.

A powerful statement isn't it? I can think of so so so many cases to prove my stand.

Take for example myself. I've always wanted total freedom, breaking free from the clutches of my parents, but yet, when did I ever get that? since secondary 1, it has been like 8years? wow, almost a decade, but, do you see any freedom that I've gained? NO, in fact, curfew's still going on when I'm already 21? haha. oyea. only when my parents are away, then I'll start getting sneaky and secretive. so called total freedom huh? lol.

People often say, in order to achieve something, you have to always believe in yourself and eventually you will get what you want. but seriously, how true is this? 1 out of 10 cases? or am I just damn unlucky?

Let's not talk about total freedom. How many people have already face this situation with regards to love? the more you want it, the more you'll never get it. or should I just say the more you never get, the more you will want it? Are human beings damn cheap or god is just unfair? lol. I prefer to think that human beings are just damn cheap. when something comes to you, you choose to push it away. but when it doesnt comes to you, you'll hope it comes. argh. contradiction, this is what I call.

owell, so much of the bullshit, but I'm really afraid that if I want anything too much, I'll never ever have it? and it has always been this case..

definitely a personal point of view. and i dont care who reads my blog, but it's MY blog. I choose to blog anything I want. :)

*

owell. after like 2years, I had my 20mins of jog today? wow. damn shiok. was so so so good. I ran quite far. I've never liked the out of breath feeling. but it feels damn good with the out of breath feeling today. it's just my mood la. damn. im dead tired. :(

listening to the song 'so close', browsing through the older posts, memories pouring, heart beating, tears running. o damn. i realised i've grown so much. haha. my hair has grown much much longer too. i really should just delete the older posts. like damn. no no no, i should be really busy now. but i guess, i should really sit down and rest, think carefully what the hell do i want in my life. i mean seriously, i cant continue being busy forever, trying to escape some things right.

i have to get down to study, really.

i hate the feeling of loneliness, i hate the 'missing that someone' feeling, i hate it when im just avoiding and avoiding and avoiding. i hate it when im being controlled, i hate it when my parents dont trust me. i hate it when they start restricting me to do things, i hate it when it reaches the night when i need to rush home. i hate all my awful dreams. i hate my childhood, i hate being such a mountain tortoise. i hate it that when i want anything too much, it means i'll never ever get it. i hate all my commitments. i hate the feeling of being so close and yet still so far. i hate it when i have to be so dependent. i hate it when im awfully awfully tired.

in short, i am just afraid. scaredy cat, that means.

it has been a super super busy month of the year and i'm loving it! yea! busy with sch, study, tuition, driving, going out, blah blah blah. everybody's turning 21 this year! omg, im feeling so broke alr. sigh. wondering whether i should do my hair not. shit. so so so broke. :(

im so gonna kill samuel, reminded me things that i shouldn be reminded of. argh. asshole. :)

sigh, i realise i've been missing somebody more than i wanted to. shit, no no no. i'll continue being busy. :(

anyway, had a girls' day out with gela, mayanne, diora, mayanne's friend(i dunno how to spell her name:)). it's been awhile since all of us hang out. and really nice meeting mayanne's friend. :) we just spent time watching sex and the city, which im hooked to it alr, and we had dinner together. :) mayanne's mum's cooking is fabulous. great meehoon and great curry. yum. im beginning to miss it alr. :)

diora left earlier to meet ronny tho, and so the rest of us continued the sex and the city, and decided to go to the pool to slack. we were in the jacuzzi, dipping in the cold cold water, chatting bou some eerie things. shall not elaborate on that. scare the shit hell out of me. lol. then it was cinderella's time again. damn. :(

sigh, im missing the girls alr. :( i really wish i could hang out with them again. nvm. chinese new year's coming! i think everybody will be busy to go play with me tho. :(

sigh. seriously, what is everybody up to lately? super irritated. argh.

jurong hilltop with jeffrey. :)

bugis with samuel, gela and her fren. :)

SILOSO FUN